Meet Gyros

Tonight I met a guy named Gyros. He is a rocket scientist at NASA where he supervises top secret government space projects. Gyros is also a professor of economics and a fellow at Harvard where he heads departments of Biology, Geology, Anthropology, and Apology. He is on the boards of directors of multiple multinational companies. In his spare time, he advises world leaders such as George W. and Tony on world affairs and foreign policy.

In reality, Gyros works for a plasma television manufacturer as a plasma donor. Prior to that, he worked at a sperm bank as a sperm donor. He was subsequently terminated after numerous complaints from customers about the low quality of the sperm. Many of the infants were returned for a refund. Gyros is currently interviewing with a start-up pharmaceutical company in India for a position as junior suppository testing specialist. A master’s degree in political science from the University of Bora-Bora helped land Gyros a career at a branch of a prestigious Fortune 500 firm called McDonald’s.

Gyros, a militant nudist Buddhist and according to the Playgirl magazine “the sexiest Greek man alive since Zorba,” has devoted his entire life to organizing support groups for men with hideous circumcisions. He also heads a nonprofit organization called, Greek men for better body hair removal products. Gyros has traveled the world looking for the answer to the most fundamental question asked by every man: where the heck is the remote control!

Tags: Fun

Category: Offbeat